Am just an ordinary girl that have such a wonderful family...my mom n dad n even all my brothers cares for me n even they pray 5 times a day…n my parents always make sure all of us pray..yeah I do pray everytime they asked me too..but whenever I go out, I don’t take it as serious matter, so I just feel like
“aahhhhh…it’s oukay that I didn’t pray “ n sometimes it goes like “urghhhhh…am so lazy to pray…I want to have fun playing bowling n hang out with my friends”..
they always advice me to wear hijab..but in my mind was just thinking “nevermind…I’m still young..i wanna enjoy the world first…I’ll wear hijab after I get married”…
but I just keep quiet and smile..they always remind me..They always try their best to make me wear hijab…but the only problems is me which comes in my heart..I love and enjoy learning islamic with my ustaz and ustazah but the thing is I NEVER don’t really practice it..and there it goes after SPM..it seems like I need to apply ipts with my results…and how can I expect I gt matriks 1 year with my results?? So I decided to go to my college and taking foundation in science course..my parents surely worried about me ..i mean yeah worry SO MUCH…coz..i can’t take care of myself well,and am the only daughter in my family..even my brothers worried about me..how IF I can’t take care of myself? How if I get influenced by all the bad students here..especially KL..u know how the people in this town well…but still they gave me the trust that I should hold..so, I try my best to make it..but, I start to loiter at my college, and yeah mix around with THOSE people..but thank God..GOD save me..i have my roommate with me..that always pray for me..even she asked all her friends to pray for me and OF COURSE my parents do pray for me ALWAYS !! with their prayers, God give me chance.. There’s one time, when I was sleeping I kept on dreaming about the end of world, the people who didn’t pray and begging for the chance to get alive so that they can fix their mistake..i dreamed about all those dream for one week straight..and when I woke up, I saw my roommate was praying..i straight away take the WUDHUK and pray..and I started to pray full 5 times per day..and when I almost leave 1 of them I feels sumtg is wrong with me..so, my roommate started to advice me and giving me “tazkirah” about praying and everything..and then I stop to loiter and mix around with those people…and there’s always my roommate by my side support me..i feel glad that I know her..then we started to pray together which known as “JEMAAH”..after that, a little by little, we started to do all the sunnah..and even tadarus together..but..to let you know..there’s a problems with me in the middle as my friend told me that syaitan will always disturb people that trying to find their way to the right path..i did feel lazy to do the sunnah .. but with a guidance from my friends that always remind me, I start to make it..she NEVER leaves me and even when I make mistake she never give up on me and always forgive me..that’s true friends..yeah I love her so much..that time I still didn’t wear HIJAB..and I remember she said
“I know you need time yasmin..but don’t take that time too long..how if ALLAH take back the hidayah from you? How if you die? You never know what will happen to you the next day or even second…yeah..you need to get ready and there will MAYBE some problems that you need to go through which is facing your friends with the new you..what people thinks about you..but remember whatever people said, you’re doing it for GOD, your goods, your way to find the right path..what’s the point you just pray but you always make other sin that you already know it is SIN???”..
that time I’m still thinking..but still I don’t have the strength to cover up myself..in my mind just think “ how am I supposed to face people? What should I do if people said that am faking it and am used to be a girl which loiter with bad people as well??urgghhhh why don’t I just wear it after I start working or something??”
yea..i used to loiter with bad people, but it doesn’t mean I’m one of them..i don’t follow them..but still as people nowadays will think that u mix around with those people, MAYBE you’re one of them..and I admit that I did think even I’m freehair, but at least am not bad..that one was my last time thought..but now I get it it..i’m totally wrong..even you see bad people u can’t think that way even you feels like you’re better than them..it will make your iman become lesser..you don’t even know maybe that person don’t know well about islam..maybe that person is JAHIL right?? Maybe one day, they’re better than you…and remember we’re SLAVE…everyone is the same…we should pray for them instead of thinking that way..and there it goes, qistina is leaving me for education reason….she’s not leaving me but just for her studies, just leave me as my roommate, but we still keep in touch until now..and here you come NIK HANNAH my new roommate which is qistina’s twin sister I feel glad..and thank god, GOD gave me another roommate that behave well and replace qistina to guide me..ALHAMDULILLAH..she helped me a lot..she behave exactly like her twins….she also advice me about wearing hijab until there it comes my dream again..about there’s a lot of people staying in one big apartment with me…and out of nowhere, there’s a fire that burns the apartment, and we tried our best to save our life, some people died, but some of them alive..but suddenly there’s a big fire trapping all over the world..and everyone died,no one of them save from the fireburning, and the whole world destroyed like it is the end of the world..just the voice of people shouting
‘GOD,save me !! I still have my sins,I still haven’t taubat! Give me chance,please…am scared !!”’
and suddenly I woke up..i feel scared…I realize, I can die anytime..until when I wanna wait to get ready to do something good? Until when I wanna wear hijab? What if people say something with my new changes?? If they said so, am changing for GOD,not for them….yea they said that but this is for my own good right?? I wanna go to jannah,if people say something about me..and am just thinking about that, until when I want to change??u shouldn’t bother what people say if you really want to change..you are the one who will answer all the question after you die, not them!! So why should u bother?? After that….i decided to wear it no matter what..i told my family and friends..and ALHAMDULILLAH…everyone is supporting me and actually it is easier to face it more thn what I thought…thanks mama, babah, my brothers(abg hariz,abg aslam, anas,faiz, & imtiaz ), nina, Hannah, izzati, ilyas, fatin, Hamada,deen , dan ,nasir, and everyone that support me..i feel glad..and syukur to ALLAH coz make it easier for me..and now am trying my best..to be a good muslimah for ALLAH ..AMIN..well, what can i say is..people make mistake, we learn from our mistake and don't look down on anyone coz everyone is the same. :)
Ps:/.i’m sorry if my English is bad..just that I need to write in English so that everyone can understand it well… thanks for reading this..am sorry if my words is a bit harsh .. what is good comes from ALLAH,, and the bad comes from me..w’salam..u can drop any comment or question as well:)
